For Men

2003 Father/Son Men's Legacy Weekend

2003 Father/Son Men's Legacy Weekend

Dear Man,

This is my public letter of gratitude to you for the impact you have made on my life.

Thank you, men of my family; you taught me by example, and sometimes in words, how to become the man I have always wanted to be. Specifically:

Thank you, Dad, for all that you’ve given to me in the course of my life. Thank you for being The Hunter who taught me the value of following the traditions of my ancestors. Thank you for being The Fisherman who taught me the meaning of patience, and shared the story of the Taoist Fisherman. Thank you for being The Businessman who taught me how to provide for myself, and those whom I love. Thank you for being The Husband who taught me to respect women. Thank you for being The Brother who taught me to care for other men. Thank you for being The Storyteller who taught me a love of myths, legends and stories. Thank you for being The Philosopher who taught me to think for myself. Most of all, thank you for being The Father who taught me to care for my family and to care for all children. Read more »

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For Women

Dear Woman,

This is my public letter of gratitude to you for the impact you have made on my life.

Thank you, women of my family; you showed me how powerful it can be to really relate to each other.  Specifically:

  • Thank you, Mom, for loving me no matter what from the very beginning. Thank you for being The Giver, and making the holidays a truly special occasion for the whole family; you taught me to cherish time with my family. Thank you for being The Teacher, and teaching me respect and admiration for women; you showed me that women are my partners in the journey of life. Thank you for being The Open-Hearted One; you showed me how to be vulnerable.
  • Read more »

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Women and Beauty: Fear, Hate, Love and Acceptance

I’d like to share with you two brief stories about two different women I met, and how beauty shows up or doesn’t, depending upon the personality of the woman more than her looks. One of these women, I’ll call her Lisa, doesn’t really seem to like men that much, and the other, I’ll call her Angela, loves men and accepts us unconditionally as we are.

These two stories really happened, but as I’ve implied, I’ve changed all the names. I think you’ll get a lot out of hearing these two stories, and understanding what I see as beautiful in women. Hopefully my experiences might shed some light on some of your experiences with men, and how we perceive beauty. Read more »

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Ego, the Subconscious, and Higher Consciousness

Hawaiian Tiki Totem Pole

Hawaiian Tiki Totem Pole

In Huna (Hawaiian Shamanism), there are three aspects to awareness:

  1. Ku – The Heart Aspect – similar to the Western concept of the subconscious.
  2. Lono – The Mind Aspect – similar to the Western concept of the conscious or ego.
  3. Kane – The Spirit Aspect – similar to the Western concept of the higher consciousness.

In Huna, it is said that the Ku or subconscious has access to both the Lono or conscious, and to the Kane or the higher consciousness.  It is said that the Kane and the Lono have no access to each other.  Thus, in Huna tradition, it is only through the ego exploring the subconscious that the higher consciousness may even be touched.

Working on my ego is not about trying to gain anything; rather it is about trying to create a life I really love living. So many people try to kill the ego or push the ego away, when in actuality it is the ego that allows me to be in physical reality and enjoy my life on Earth. Being happy, clear, and aligned in the physical reality and the ego can only help raise the vibrations of my subconscious, and therefore also my higher consciousness. As a physical, but not-only-physical being, why not allow my ego to be in partnership with my subconscious and higher consciousness, and help raise the vibration of everything to which the ego has access, but the higher consciousness does not?

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Women & Men / Anger & Fear

The battle of the sexes is as old as the sexes themselves.  But what lies at the heart of it?  One of my guides along my path as a man and as a healer, once told me something that might shed some light on the subject.  This is what he defines as the two biggest problems in the world.

“The first is that, on average, the level of individual self-love of the people inhabiting the planet is terribly low. This is not the self-love of the identity loving itself. That is what is meant by megalomaniac, self-aggrandizement etc. This is the inability of the identity, that which you think you are, to receive the love of that which you really are.  The second problem is the inability of women to give their sexual energy to men, primarily due to their anger, coupled with the even worse inability of men to receive the sexual energy of women, primarily due to their fear.” – Greg Ehmka

angry woman and fearful man

The Toxic Pattern: An angry woman and frightened man.

What does this really mean, and what might be learned from it?  Why anger and why fear?  Why the dichotomy between the sexes?

Personally, I would change Greg’s words of “sexual energy” to “sexual and/or love energies.”  It seems to me, at least from my journey though life and relationships, that these two often come intertwined when it comes to sexual relationships.  Sometimes sexual energy might be the sticking point, and other times love energy might be the sticking point.  Sometimes the fear and/or anger does not get in the way of sexual energy exchange, but does interfere very much with opening through trust to love. Read more »

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Seven Core Masculine Archetypes

The Wild Man

The Wild Man

These seven archetypes were heavily influenced by my participation in a men’s circle, the work of Robert Bly in Iron John and my experiences with Tantra and sacred sexuality. I employ a combination of mythical archetypes and relationships to the 7 Chakras.

In the western nations the press frequently demonizes men and paints us as devils, rapists, oppressors and all manner of despicable shadow-masculine characters. Most men I know would not fit into any such category, and yet most men I know have never read nor seen an essay about the sacred nature of men, while reports of rape, murder and men oppressing women can be read any day of the week in the newspaper. In short, I see a world literally filled with men who exhibit the 7 archetypes I’ve listed below, and with a small and ever decreasing minority of men who fit she “shadow” version of those archetypes, yet by reading the press, viewing the television and movies, or going to a modern university, one might get the impression that the shadow men make up the majority. Read more »

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