On Women and Sensuality

Cosmic KissingThe other day, I was reading the blog of an Internet friend, Nicole Daedone.  She’d written a very insightful and personal post entitled “On Fucking,” and it inspired me to write my own personalized thoughts on the matter.   Then I began to realize that I have a lot more to talk about here than just fucking.  I thought, “I want to talk about all of sex, and how a man might approach, entice, open and truly give the best of himself to a woman sexually.”  On further thought, I realized, “what I have to say is not really about sex, but about sensation, sensuality, and building a powerful and lasting connection.”

So, this will be the first post in a series on opening women to pleasure and sensuality.  This series will be directed at men, but hopefully women will get something out of it too.  At the very least, I hope this post will be something that, when women read it, they’ll resonate with and send to the men in their lives.

There’s probably only going to be a single major theme running though this with regards to advice for women.  That is: Communicate this stuff with the man in your life.  We men are not (much as so many women seem to want us to be) mind readers. Read more »

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A Simple Matter of Ethics

The Golden RuleI get into a lot of debates about morality, ethics, personal philosophies on life, and what results from each individual’s take on such issues. This is often the case with atheists because of the fact that most of us have a very strong sense of ethics, where we stand on ethical issues, and well-thought out lines of logical reasoning on the topic. It is also often the case with anarchists for the same reasons. We anarchists and atheists have often rejected states and religions based on the grounds that their actions and teachings seem to often be in direct opposition to decent human ethics.

So, what is the most basic and simple ethical rule that many (dare I say most?) anarchists and atheists live by? It’s quite a simple rule. If you’re a religious person, you’re probably already familiar with it, because most religions consider it one of the cornerstones of their belief system. Read more »

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WorldCraft: Bringing Bucky Fuller’s World Game into the 21st Century

Can We Build an MMORTS That Will Save the World?

Blizzard Booth at Gamescom

Blizzard Entertainment Booth at Gamescom

That may sound like a very bold question. “Can we build a video game that will save the world?” I am, however, quite serious. Before I bring you fully into my thoughts on this matter, I want to draw your attention to the popularity of modern online video games, as not everyone is aware of what’s going on with web-based games today.

Read more »

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For Men

2003 Father/Son Men's Legacy Weekend

2003 Father/Son Men's Legacy Weekend

Dear Man,

This is my public letter of gratitude to you for the impact you have made on my life.

Thank you, men of my family; you taught me by example, and sometimes in words, how to become the man I have always wanted to be. Specifically:

Thank you, Dad, for all that you’ve given to me in the course of my life. Thank you for being The Hunter who taught me the value of following the traditions of my ancestors. Thank you for being The Fisherman who taught me the meaning of patience, and shared the story of the Taoist Fisherman. Thank you for being The Businessman who taught me how to provide for myself, and those whom I love. Thank you for being The Husband who taught me to respect women. Thank you for being The Brother who taught me to care for other men. Thank you for being The Storyteller who taught me a love of myths, legends and stories. Thank you for being The Philosopher who taught me to think for myself. Most of all, thank you for being The Father who taught me to care for my family and to care for all children. Read more »

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For Women

Dear Woman,

This is my public letter of gratitude to you for the impact you have made on my life.

Thank you, women of my family; you showed me how powerful it can be to really relate to each other.  Specifically:

  • Thank you, Mom, for loving me no matter what from the very beginning. Thank you for being The Giver, and making the holidays a truly special occasion for the whole family; you taught me to cherish time with my family. Thank you for being The Teacher, and teaching me respect and admiration for women; you showed me that women are my partners in the journey of life. Thank you for being The Open-Hearted One; you showed me how to be vulnerable.
  • Read more »

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On Being Worshiped

Couple bathing togetherWhen it comes to religion and gods, I don’t believe in them, but I find many of the metaphors and techniques within them useful.  One metaphor I have found of particular value is to either hold someone else as a god or goddess; to hold another in a space of an object of worship, devotion and adoration.  Additionally, being held in this light by another person can be an incredibly empowering and enlightening experience.

It is rare to experience utter devotion and adoration in our lives.  In fact, I would guess that most people have never had the experience.  I had never experienced it until my late twenties, when I became involved with learning techniques of Tantra.  I had never truly given it until I began to practice Tantra with a partner.

“Devotion frees.” ~ Vigyan Bhairav Tantra

Devotion not only frees the devoted, it also frees the object of devotion, or the action one devotes oneself to.  Devotion frees through love.  To be devoted, truly and wholly, one must first surrender to one’s love.  This experience in itself is freeing, and is only amplified by the acts of devotion that follow it. Read more »

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Understanding Orgasm – Tension & Relaxation

The main issue I wish to address is the role of muscular and psychological tension and relaxation in orgasm, but before I do, I want to introduce two different types of orgasms.

Of course, there are many types of orgasms, but for the purposes of this discussion, I’ll be grouping them into two broad categories: The Genital Orgasm and The Deep Orgasm.  What do I mean by these terms?  Well, they show up differently in men and women, so let’s begin there:

orgasmic woman in ecstasyIn Women:

  1. A Genital / Clitoral focused orgasm, which is very pleasurable, focused primarily in the lower regions in or near the genitals, sometimes includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, sometimes is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is rarely ejaculatory.
  2. A Deep / Full-Body orgasm, which is usually substantially more pleasurable (women report to me between 2 times and 100 times more powerful than the Genital Orgasm), focused throughout the entire body, almost always includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, almost always is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is often potentially ejaculatory.

In Men:

  1. A Genital focused orgasm, which is very pleasurable, focused primarily in the lower regions in or near the genitals, only rarely (unless the man is practiced in the arts of sexuality) includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, sometimes is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is almost always ejaculatory.
  2. A Deep / Full-Body orgasm, which is usually substantially more pleasurable (men  report to me between 2 times and 100 times more powerful than the Genital Orgasm. I would personally say 20 times better), focused throughout the entire body, almost always includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, almost always is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is only rarely accompanied by ejaculation. Read more »
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Women and Beauty: Fear, Hate, Love and Acceptance

I’d like to share with you two brief stories about two different women I met, and how beauty shows up or doesn’t, depending upon the personality of the woman more than her looks. One of these women, I’ll call her Lisa, doesn’t really seem to like men that much, and the other, I’ll call her Angela, loves men and accepts us unconditionally as we are.

These two stories really happened, but as I’ve implied, I’ve changed all the names. I think you’ll get a lot out of hearing these two stories, and understanding what I see as beautiful in women. Hopefully my experiences might shed some light on some of your experiences with men, and how we perceive beauty. Read more »

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If you asked me about Tantra or Sex Magick…

This is a reminder of what I told you about it (I say more or less the same thing to everyone):

  1. Erotic Relief Sculpture from Tantric Temple in IndiaOkay, so I hear you asking about sex, so I’m going to let you in on a little secret about Sex Magick, Tantric Sexuality, and other forms of Sacred Sexuality and Sexual Mysticism.
  2. Before I do, I’m going to tell you something important about what I’m igniting in you. None of these paths are about sex. I get that you think they are. I get that this is your motive: better sex. I get that maybe you want to impress the ladies or the men with your skills in bed. That’s fine. Many people get interested for exactly the same reasons you are. That is how I got interested in the topic as well. So I have no complaint about your motives or intentions, but I’m not going to give you these secrets without first giving you a warning.
  3. That warning is this: What I’m about to tell you will change your entire life if you actually pursue it. It will change everything about your life in ways you cannot even imagine.
  4. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s what you wanted to know: Six Basic Keys to Mind-blowing Tantric Sex
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Ego, the Subconscious, and Higher Consciousness

Hawaiian Tiki Totem Pole

Hawaiian Tiki Totem Pole

In Huna (Hawaiian Shamanism), there are three aspects to awareness:

  1. Ku – The Heart Aspect – similar to the Western concept of the subconscious.
  2. Lono – The Mind Aspect – similar to the Western concept of the conscious or ego.
  3. Kane – The Spirit Aspect – similar to the Western concept of the higher consciousness.

In Huna, it is said that the Ku or subconscious has access to both the Lono or conscious, and to the Kane or the higher consciousness.  It is said that the Kane and the Lono have no access to each other.  Thus, in Huna tradition, it is only through the ego exploring the subconscious that the higher consciousness may even be touched.

Working on my ego is not about trying to gain anything; rather it is about trying to create a life I really love living. So many people try to kill the ego or push the ego away, when in actuality it is the ego that allows me to be in physical reality and enjoy my life on Earth. Being happy, clear, and aligned in the physical reality and the ego can only help raise the vibrations of my subconscious, and therefore also my higher consciousness. As a physical, but not-only-physical being, why not allow my ego to be in partnership with my subconscious and higher consciousness, and help raise the vibration of everything to which the ego has access, but the higher consciousness does not?

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