On Being Worshiped

Couple bathing togetherWhen it comes to religion and gods, I don’t believe in them, but I find many of the metaphors and techniques within them useful.  One metaphor I have found of particular value is to either hold someone else as a god or goddess; to hold another in a space of an object of worship, devotion and adoration.  Additionally, being held in this light by another person can be an incredibly empowering and enlightening experience.

It is rare to experience utter devotion and adoration in our lives.  In fact, I would guess that most people have never had the experience.  I had never experienced it until my late twenties, when I became involved with learning techniques of Tantra.  I had never truly given it until I began to practice Tantra with a partner.

“Devotion frees.” ~ Vigyan Bhairav Tantra

Devotion not only frees the devoted, it also frees the object of devotion, or the action one devotes oneself to.  Devotion frees through love.  To be devoted, truly and wholly, one must first surrender to one’s love.  This experience in itself is freeing, and is only amplified by the acts of devotion that follow it. Read more »

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Understanding Orgasm – Tension & Relaxation

The main issue I wish to address is the role of muscular and psychological tension and relaxation in orgasm, but before I do, I want to introduce two different types of orgasms.

Of course, there are many types of orgasms, but for the purposes of this discussion, I’ll be grouping them into two broad categories: The Genital Orgasm and The Deep Orgasm.  What do I mean by these terms?  Well, they show up differently in men and women, so let’s begin there:

orgasmic woman in ecstasyIn Women:

  1. A Genital / Clitoral focused orgasm, which is very pleasurable, focused primarily in the lower regions in or near the genitals, sometimes includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, sometimes is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is rarely ejaculatory.
  2. A Deep / Full-Body orgasm, which is usually substantially more pleasurable (women report to me between 2 times and 100 times more powerful than the Genital Orgasm), focused throughout the entire body, almost always includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, almost always is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is often potentially ejaculatory.

In Men:

  1. A Genital focused orgasm, which is very pleasurable, focused primarily in the lower regions in or near the genitals, only rarely (unless the man is practiced in the arts of sexuality) includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, sometimes is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is almost always ejaculatory.
  2. A Deep / Full-Body orgasm, which is usually substantially more pleasurable (men  report to me between 2 times and 100 times more powerful than the Genital Orgasm. I would personally say 20 times better), focused throughout the entire body, almost always includes more “full body” effects such as shaking or shuddering body, almost always is accompanied by involuntary noise-making, and is only rarely accompanied by ejaculation. Read more »
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Women and Beauty: Fear, Hate, Love and Acceptance

I’d like to share with you two brief stories about two different women I met, and how beauty shows up or doesn’t, depending upon the personality of the woman more than her looks. One of these women, I’ll call her Lisa, doesn’t really seem to like men that much, and the other, I’ll call her Angela, loves men and accepts us unconditionally as we are.

These two stories really happened, but as I’ve implied, I’ve changed all the names. I think you’ll get a lot out of hearing these two stories, and understanding what I see as beautiful in women. Hopefully my experiences might shed some light on some of your experiences with men, and how we perceive beauty. Read more »

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