Women & Men / Anger & Fear

The battle of the sexes is as old as the sexes themselves.  But what lies at the heart of it?  One of my guides along my path as a man and as a healer, once told me something that might shed some light on the subject.  This is what he defines as the two biggest problems in the world.

“The first is that, on average, the level of individual self-love of the people inhabiting the planet is terribly low. This is not the self-love of the identity loving itself. That is what is meant by megalomaniac, self-aggrandizement etc. This is the inability of the identity, that which you think you are, to receive the love of that which you really are.  The second problem is the inability of women to give their sexual energy to men, primarily due to their anger, coupled with the even worse inability of men to receive the sexual energy of women, primarily due to their fear.” – Greg Ehmka

angry woman and fearful man

The Toxic Pattern: An angry woman and frightened man.

What does this really mean, and what might be learned from it?  Why anger and why fear?  Why the dichotomy between the sexes?

Personally, I would change Greg’s words of “sexual energy” to “sexual and/or love energies.”  It seems to me, at least from my journey though life and relationships, that these two often come intertwined when it comes to sexual relationships.  Sometimes sexual energy might be the sticking point, and other times love energy might be the sticking point.  Sometimes the fear and/or anger does not get in the way of sexual energy exchange, but does interfere very much with opening through trust to love. Read more »

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The Paleolithic Diet

Yep. I’ve lost a ton of weight over the last few years. Okay, maybe not a whole ton. Maybe it was only 50 lbs. In 2007, I weighed in at 180, and decided something had to be done. In 2011, I weigh in at 133 – the same weight I was when I was 17-20 years old.

The three biggest components to losing that weight were:

  1. Emotional – without dealing with this one, you might never lose the weight – In beginning to deal with it, it seemed almost effortless to drop pounds.
  2. Mental – rewriting the programming in your computer (brain) for the correct eating signals from the stomach to the brain. See “The Naturally Slender Eating Strategy” – another note I posted.
  3. Diet/Lifestyle change – See this post.

The Paleo Diet by Dr. Loren Cordain

Several years ago, I read The Paleo Diet by Dr. Loren Cordain. This book really changed how I think about my diet, and changed many of my food choices. As a result of reading this, I eliminated certain foods completely:

Peanut Butter and Peanuts or Cashews – replaced completely with Raw Almond Butter (Trader Joe’s has a great deal on it). Peanuts and cashews actually are NOT nuts, and much less healthy than real nuts. Also, RAW nuts are WAY healthier than roasted.

Heavily processed foods. I still eat a few from time to time, but my shopping cart is not filled with them anymore. Examples: Lunchables (I used to love these, and eat them for lunch at work all the time), packaged meats like bologna or sliced smoked turkey from Buddig, packaged frozen dinners (I make an exception for a couple Trader Joe’s products, but I used to eat a lot of frozen foods), bread (I might eat a piece when I go out, but I never buy it for at home), potatoes (again, sometimes when out, but never at home – and out, I’ll try to get a side-salad instead if it is an option). Read more »

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Six Basic Keys to Mind-blowing Tantric Sex

Every journey begins with a single step.  The journey of the soul can sometimes be a difficult one, and sometimes be an easy one.  Of the different ways our souls may choose to make those journeys, taking the road that leads through our sexuality can be one of the most troublesome, as well as one of the most rewarding.

eye contact

A key to great sex: Eye Contact!

Tantric sexuality shows us ways that we might take that reward and double it, then double it again, then spin it around and amplify it, and then send it out so that it comes back to us amplified yet again.  Imagine that you could do that.  For most people, it will be a difficult thing to imagine.  And yet, great numbers of people are drawn to Tantra every year; many of them seeking only pleasure; many of them seeking enlightenment.

The vast majority of those seekers receive both the spiritual blessings and the better sex.  They go hand in hand.  If you’re expecting or wanting the one without the other, you may be surprised to find them intertwined.

Readers may find the techniques described here to be similar to or the same as things already learned in yoga, meditation, intense exercise, etc.  The basics of tantric sexuality are really fundamentals of many forms of energy work or spiritual practices utilized in various traditions to move and/or transform the life force energy. Read more »

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The Naturally Slender Eating Strategy

Naturally Slender Eating

Naturally Slender Eating

I have a Master Practitioner Certificate in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). One of the concepts in NLP is the idea of “strategies.” A strategy is a series of actions performed in a specific order to achieve a specific result. People have strategies for everything, but mostly don’t think about them or know what they are. They just do them automatically as they go about their days.

Some strategies are simple and all about physical actions, like your morning routine for getting showered and dressed, which is probably usually the same things in roughly the same order.  Other strategies involve a lot of thinking.

We have strategies for just about everything in our lives, from our morning routine to our way of dealing with problematic people at the office. We tend to run these little scripts without thinking about them. Some of our strategies work well, and some do not. If you have an area of life where something is not working, it might do you well to consider your strategy, and how you might change it.

That brings us to eating strategies. First, let’s take some time to consider some really horrible eating strategies. If you are an obese person, or know an obese person well, see if you can pick out the strategy they use for eating from the below list:

Read more »

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